""Oh Jenny, you are such a great friend, an inspiration to us all, you can give her spiritual support, right?"" Our conversation lasted several more minutes but I can remember distinctly her words that sounded like she was choking back with tears:

""Anh Thái, you have to help me spread the word about breast cancer. It is more a silent killer than we know, especially among Asian and Vietnamese women…""

I didn’t know then, that a year later, my friend Jenny would be suffering.

It’s October, national Breast Cancer Awareness month. Perhaps you’ve noticed all the pink that manufacturers have brought out this month to call attention to and raise money for the disease. Jenny bravely has shared her story here in hopes that other women will be persistent and diligent in their care.

In the Vietnamese American community, few women divulge their breast cancer. But Jenny opened herself up, as if breast cancer were a scarlet letter about which people need to keep silent. Jenny has learned that if she wants to raise awareness than it must begin with her. Now, the Vietnamese receptionist at her dentist office, the X-ray technician where she goes for treatment and her son’s hairdresser all have divulged their cancer or their loved one’s conditions because Jenny has opened her doors.

As Jenny said: ""I wear my (lumpectomy) scar as I wear a medal. One must go through life valiantly and take what life has dealt her. My cancer is my medal, I wear it as a soldier wears his war medal. I’m not ashamed of it."" And that is exactly the attitude in her crusade against breast cancer.

So I will join my friend in talking about breast cancer. Please, start with a self-examination.

Examine your breasts a few days after your menstrual period. If you are not having periods, try and remember to do it on the first day of each month. You may be shy at first but that is OK.

Look for changes in your breasts. Look at your breasts in the mirror for any dimpling, a change in the shape of the breast, swelling, redness or dry skin around the nipple. Raising your hands over your head may show the skin changes better in the mirror.

While lying on your back, place a pillow under the breast you want to check first. Raise your hand above your head on the side that you are checking. With your other hand, feel your breast with the flat part of your first three fingers. Start near the nipple and go around the breast in a circular motion and up into the armpit. Repeat on the other breast. Tell your doctor or nurse right away about any changes. If you do not have a doctor tell a sister, close family relative, or friend who may help you access medical attention.

For more information, visit the Web site of the National Breast Cancer Foundation at: www.nationalbreastcancer.org