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| Shattering the stigma Thursday, September 28, 2006 Stories and photos by Pauline Vu 
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That was only the beginning of a downhill slide that included drugs and attempted suicide. It was years before he finally began to heal and become what he is today: one of the few public faces of HIV in a country where the number of people with the disease is on the rise and the stigma associated with it remains high. Kiên Nguyễn, 30, contracted HIV in 1995 from his then-girlfriend. When he went to the hospital to get the test results, his father came with him. The son, too afraid to look at the sheet of paper himself, asked his parent to do it. It said positive. “We didn’t know much about HIV then and there wasn’t much information,” Nguyễn remembered. “At the time I felt sad; I knew there was no cure.” Vietnamese law now protects the identities of those with HIV/AIDS, but back then there were no such regulations. The hospital told the local People’s Committee that Nguyễn had HIV, and from there rumors spread in the neighborhood. “After that when I knew more about HIV I was shocked because I realized there was a huge stigma,” Nguyễn said. He still didn’t know just how huge, however, until his classmates filed out. Then the school expelled Nguyễn for a year. His neighbors believed his family had become a danger to the community. His father was torn; he wanted to stand by his son, but he was also constrained by society’s fears of HIV and AIDS. So he sent his child to live alone on a beach in Thanh Hóa province, 93 miles south of Hà Nội. When his girlfriend died, Nguyễn turned to heroin to numb the pain. During these dark days he cut his wrists three times in an attempt to kill himself. But Nguyễn, born into a family of painters, also began painting to help him deal with his grief. His artwork from that period is marked by dark shades and names like Place of Debauchery, The Cry, Unceasing Shame, and Guillotine. One of his most emotional pieces shows a doll, symbolizing his girlfriend, falling into a dark river far below. Painting wasn’t the only thing that boosted Nguyễn, allowing him to get back on his feet. He went to three rehab programs before returning to Hà Nội and managing, painfully, to quit drugs. In late 2003 he also joined the Lotus Scent Club, where people with HIV and AIDS meet and support each other. In 2004, Nguyễn decided it was finally time he did something about his disease instead of just succumb to it. “I didn’t want to waste my life,” he said. He started designing logos for the club, teaching children suffering from HIV and Agent Orange how to paint, and speaking at a drug abuse treatment center. But there was one other way he fought the disease which required far more courage. While most people afflicted with HIV and AIDS in Việt Nam live anonymously, Nguyễn chose to show his face. In November 2004, he appeared on “Friends Helping Friends,” a nationally televised program about AIDS that made waves in society. The public began to recognize Nguyễn; some whispered that people should stay away from him, but many sympathized and respected him all the more. Nguyễn appeared in another nationally broadcast TV program about HIV, along with a woman from Hải Phòng, to tell his story. Their message: HIV isn’t a social evil, and people with HIV are still living, working and useful, so avoid discriminating and stigmatizing them. In December 2004 Nguyễn held his fifth exhibition, but the first one where he was open about being HIV-positive. Called “Color of Love” and hosted with another HIV-positive painter, Quang Hùng, the show’s goal was to open the public’s eyes to what it was like living with HIV/AIDS. It featured pieces from Nguyễn’s most difficult days, as well as his more recent, hopeful creations. “I want to affirm that I will have a healthy life and contribute to society until my last breath,” Nguyễn said at the time. In June 2005 Nguyễn launched his second exhibition about HIV, which also displayed the artwork of children living with the illness. And this year in March he reached another milestone with his latest show, which highlighted not only his paintings, but those of his wife, who does not have HIV or AIDS. Ngân Nguyễn, 24, had come to Hà Nội to study art with Nguyễn’s father in 2004. She met Kiên, admired him, and fell for him. She knew from the start he was HIV-positive, but unlike most Vietnamese, she was educated about the disease. “I already had friends with HIV, so I knew about it,” Ngân said. Kiên returned her love, but he didn’t think he’d ever commit to Ngân. When they discussed marriage, he urged her to consider the risks carefully. She answered, “Don’t ever think I’m making a sacrifice. I love you and want to be with you the rest of my life.” Her parents, concerned about the match, pointed out to her the disadvantages and dangers of uniting with Kiên. But when Ngân showed her determination to be with Kiên by voluntarily going to his house, her parents gave their consent to the marriage — a move which Kiên said shocked him more than when he learned he had HIV. At his last exhibition he made another statement. He painted a dozen portraits, half of people with HIV and half of people without. And by looking at those images, he said, no one can tell who has HIV and who doesn’t. “There’s no difference between those with HIV and those without,” he noted. Today the artist looks healthy. His HIV infection hasn’t developed into AIDS yet, and Ngân says her husband is strong. His house is graced with his latest artwork, most of them bright and uplifting. At the beginning of his battle with HIV, Kiên Nguyễn suffered the humiliation of having people stand up and walk out on him. But a decade later he’s proven that he’s the one rising above such ignorance and fear, and he gave his last exhibition an apt name: Stand Up from Tears. | |||||
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