By Zen Vuong, Pasadena Star-News
If I had grown up in the clutches of a proper “Tiger Mother,” I would probably have a better answer for people when they ask me what my hobbies are.
“Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother”
Amy Chua’s “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother” gave a hip ring to what Asian children have experienced for generations: Overly strict parents who plug their children into as many academic and extracurricular outlets as possible.
Asian parents sacrifice their all so their children could have financially successful futures.
My parents certainly had the sacrifice part down. They both worked long hours to put rice on the table, which meant neither of them had extra money or time to drive me to the usual forms of torture Asian kids face: Chinese school, piano class, and extra English and math lessons.
Without having to fine-tune any special skills, I got to play as a child. I spent time at home dabbling in pet projects that would soon end up in a forgotten pile. I never had to learn how to stick to anything.
I played “Fight Club” with my siblings and cousins before Hollywood popularized it with Brad Pitt. I hung out with Grandma and learned how to sew, knit and crochet. And then when Grandma got me really angry one time, I surreptitiously fertilized her most prized rose bush with half a gallon of paint.
Even though my parents didn’t plan every minute of my day, I still grew up in a traditional Asian household. Forget sleeping over at friends’ homes; I had to beg for hours just to stay the night at my cousins’ place. And they still often said no.
When my father began managing a video store, my life consisted of going to school, working at the family business and then going home for dinner and bed. The world was dangerous, they said. This was my life until I learned how to manipulate the Tiger Mom inclination.
When I wanted to hang out at the mall with friends, I told my parents I had an important group project. When I wanted to gossip with friends after school, I told my parents I had to study at the library. And when I wanted to go on a date, I told my parents I had to study for a final. I generally got good grades, so my parents never tested my lies.
Many Asian kids learn how to quietly rebel. It’s unwise to be too ostentatious about it. I certainly didn’t want to be spanked or listen to yet another lecture about how Mother gave up a higher education in America to raise us.
Read the full article by Zen Vuong from Pasadena Star-News.
